


Stop touching me when I'm reading

by TheGhostOfBenjamin



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (only once but just to be safe), Ableism, Abusive Parents, Accidents, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amputation, Anger, Anxiety, Beating, Car Accidents, Coma, Crying, Death, Drunk Driving, Fear, Fire, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, M/M, Multi, Numbness, Slurs, Soulmate AU, Trauma, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23855941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGhostOfBenjamin/pseuds/TheGhostOfBenjamin
Summary: TW! This chapter contains description of loss of independence, anger, numbness, drunk driving, coma, amputation, ableism, use of slurs, fear, crying, trauma, fire accident, death, anxiety, abusive household and beating.Everyone has a mark on their bodies. Said mark indicates where your soulmate will touch you for the first time.Logan is a bit of a rare case, instead of one, he received three marks. His parents were happy for him, wanting him to absorb as much from the world as possible. He had his life planned and figured out. When he was nineteen he was hit by a drunk driver and lost both his legs and the ability to walk.Virgil lives with parents who only wants him to be normal, Roman loses his parents and Patton gets beaten up by his parents.Perhaps together, they can create a better ending?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, LAMP - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 147





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Be careful when reading this story ✩

Logan looked up at the sky, slowly filling up with stars. He always loved these days, the ones where he could enjoy the beautiful sky filled with constellations he had read everything about as a child. He probably had them all remembered by now, but had yet to find someone to tell them to. 

He wanted to stay here forever, just forget about all the negativity and dullness of his life. He felt free here, and he would have stayed here all the night, if it wasn’t for the fact that he couldn’t. 

Thomas gave him a small poke on his shoulder, catching Logan’s attention. Looking back, he could see the bags under Thomas’s eyes. He wasn’t much older than Logan himself, but he always looked really tired, despite his happy attitude and friendly demeanor. 

Logan gave a small nod to Thomas, silently saying that he was done for the day. Thomas walked behind him, turning the wheelchair around, and with that they began walking back to his apartment, not saying anything between the two of them. 

It wasn’t until they reached Logan’s apartment, that Thomas spoke up. 

“You good for the night, or do you want me to follow you inside?”. 

Logan always hated that question, hated that he couldn’t be independent enough to live by himself. But he had long since accepted that he needed the help, which is why he nodded once more, handing over the key to Thomas to open the door. 

When Logan was born, his parents already knew that they would love him dearly. They took him to museums and libraries, allowing him to explore and learn as he grew. They saw his soulmarks as a blessing. His parents had always adored the dot on his nose. He had one on his left palm too, as well as dots on the top of his fingers.

He learned as much as he could, got accepted to a good school and worked his way to the top. That was the plan at least. He was nineteen when it happened. He was driving home to spend the weekend with his parents when a driver drove into him at full speed. He woke up two weeks later, both of his legs amputated due to the accident. He dropped out of school a week later to heal fully before continuing.

He stayed at the hospital for a long time, having protesises made and learning to walk in them, as well as keep his upper strength strong. His parents were by his side all the time, when he went into court to put the drunk driver in prison, when he was allowed to leave the hospital and when he had to restart his whole life again.

He had to get a special apartment that would fit all the extra equipment he would need. He hired Thomas, a guy who wanted to help people live a independent life but still offering support. He learned what he could do himself and what he needed help to do.

He had a lot of freetime at first, almost all of it was spent in the library. He read every book that caught his interest, and tried to keep on studying in hope to go back to school one day. He managed to get a part time job in a bookstore where he helped to review books and fixed most of the economy that the owner had struggled with. He had always been good with math. 

Despite it not taking the route he had planned, he didn't give up. Sure, it broke him that he couldn't do all he wanted to do, and he didn't know if it was possible for him to become a doctor as he had planned. But he would figure it out, he always managed to work something out in the end.


	2. The helpful touch

Logan smiled as he scanned the shelves, searching for yet another book about stars and space. He had spent most of the day in the library, long enough that Thomas had to leave for a meeting with one if his friends, and told him to call if he needed anything. 

The library was a walking distance, so Logan wasn’t too worried about not getting home himself. He had gone to the library several times before, without help, and he was determined that he could do it himself. 

He was just about to borrow the books he had found, which happened to be a whole bag full of them, when he accidently dropped them all in front of himself. The books fell to the ground with a loud bang, alarming the other visitors of the library. Blushing slightly for interrupting the calmness, Logan began to monitor his wheelchair to pick up the books. Out of nowhere a hand reached out for the same book he was reaching for. An explosion of colors formed on his fingers. 

Virgil had never been talkative as he grew up, his parents had even taken him to a therapist as a child. They hoped it was just something small that could easily be fixed. If it weren't for that, he might have never figured out he had autism. It kinda made sense though, he always felt awkward around people, liked to have strict schedules and would break down if they changed. He often flapped his hands or wiggled his toes when he got excited, something he learned was called stimming. 

His parents were less than pleased with the diagnosis, but there wasn't much for them to do about it. They agreed in getting him stim toys, his favorite was the spinning ring and the squishy toys, and listened to him when textures didn't feel right. They were a bit irritated at his constant stimming, telling him to do it less as to not cause a scene, as they said. It seemed as they wanted him to act as normal as possibly, but whatever normal meant for them was something different for him.

His soulmarks were both a happy thing, but also stressful. He didn't like people touching him without his permission, especially if he didn't know them. He had what could be called dots on the underside of his fingertips, two handprints on his back, as well as two handprints on his hips. His parent were especially disgusted about the last one, talking about what a whore he would grew up to be.

Virgil never really talked about his marks, to afraid of what people would say about them. He always wore hoodies or long sleeved shirts to cover them up. He believed his parents for a long time when they called him slur words. Despite the anxieties of moving out at a young age, Virgil moved out when he was twenty years old.

“...Hi?”. The person, a man the same age as him said, smiling up at Logan. 

Logan stared baffled at the explosion of purple on his fingers, before averting his gaze to the man, his soulmate. He was tall, probably easily standing a inch taller than Logan himself. His hair was light blonde and curly to the point of looking messy. He was wearing a leather jacket on top of a purple shirt. A bunch of pins and spikes adored it, giving the man an edgy but scary look. His jeans were ripped and his shoes were dirty from use, looking like they had been with him for a long time. 

“Salutations.”. Logan said after gathering his bearings, holding out his hand for the other. “My name is Logan. May I know your name as well?”. 

The man shook his hand, seeming to have the same idea as Logan, as he too began to inspect the soulmark they shared. Logan noticed that the mans hand without his soulmark was in a fist, shaking up and down slightly. 

“I’m Virgil, or Virge… nice to meet you, Logan… Would you mind joining me for some coffee, I was just on my way to the cafe down the street?”.

Logan nodded happily, a small weight lifting from his shoulders. Virgil helped him gather up the books, following Logan as he borrowed them and hung the bag on his wheelchair. They walked the short distance to the cafe, Logan clumpy making his way inside, while Virgil moved around the chairs to make way for him. A few workers came out to help assist Logan, much to his dismay, but he accepted the help either way. 

After ordering a coffee each, they took a seat by the window. Virgil was slowly sipping his coffee, his emotions hard to decipher. Logan didn’t like to not know, but decided to let the subject be for the moment. Virgil was the first to speak, putting down his coffee, his hands around it to gather the warmth it was emitting. 

“So…”. He began, looking outside the window awkwardly. Logan felt incredibly nervous, the weight returning with force. “...I use they/them pronouns, which I hope that you are okay with, I mean you don’t have to be okay with that, but I just feel way more comfortable using they/them because of who I am and I know it’s not normal but I just can’t really help feeling more comfortable with it so is that okay?”. 

The words left Virgil’s mouth so fast that Logan had a bit of a hard time catching it all. He had heard of people using they/them pronouns before, and had also done a bit of research around the subject. He used he/him for himself, having giving other pronouns a try, but never really feeling comfortable with any other. 

“That is more than alright.”. Logan said, smiling a bit at Virgil in hope to easy their worries. “Whatever suits you best”. 

Logan could practically sense how Virgil calmed down significantly. It was as if they had just put down a bunch of boxes on the ground after carrying them for a mile, relieving. “Thank you… you won’t believe how worried I’ve been about that dude… anything I should know about you, your pronouns perhaps?”. Virgil asked, looking way calmer than before. 

“He/him is adequate.”. Logan answered. 

The two of them stroke up a conversation, and it wasn’t until later on, where Virgil was talking about the pins on their jacket, that Logan realised he, himself, was crying. Virgil must have noticed because they stopped talking, worriedly drying away the tears from Logan’s chin. 

“You okay? I didn’t say anything bad, did I?”. 

Logan almost laughed at that, more tears falling down his cheeks. “I’m just so happy.”. Was all that Logan managed to get out for a long while. Afterwards he explained his worry about the wheelchair and his soulmate’s reactions. And when Virgil gave him a somewhat awkward hug, Logan only cried more.


	3. The boop on the nose

Their relationship started awkwardly, but slowly got more and more comfortable. Virgil had gotten introduced to Thomas about a week later, after they had agreed to meet up again at the same cafe they had been in. They had talked a bit with one another, before Thomas took his leave to allow them some privacy. 

The same day, Logan had invited Virgil to his apartment. They had originally planned on going to Virgil’s, but after explaining that they lived in a none-friendly wheelchair apartment, the plans were changed. 

That was also how they, a couple months later, decided that Virgil would moved in together with Logan. Virgil had been excited about the idea, and since the apartment was big enough for two, they decided it was the most logical decision. 

Logan lived in a fairly big apartment. There were no rugs or thresholds, since they were mostly in the way when moving around with a wheelchair. Logan had a electrically adjustable bed, making it easier for him to get up when he was alone. Every table and worktop was lowered to provide easier access to cooking and working, as wall as comfort. Despite barely using it himself, Logan had gotten a small couch. Thomas was probably the only one who used it, if not Logan’s parents who often insisted on visiting him. 

When Virgil moved in, he added a few of his things to the apartment. The wardrobe which before only consisted off black polo-shirts and pants, were now filled with leather jackets, ripped jeans and a variety of band shirts. A few posters got up in the living room, since Logan’s bedroom was already filled with posters on stars and space.

Virgil had also bought an extra large blanket after they had moved in. He had explained that the texture of Logan’s blanket was uncomfortable, and he had trouble sleeping with it. With that, Virgil also explained his likes and dislikes with textures, what was okay and what was not. He explained some of the stims he used, such as rocking fort and back while anxious and bopping his head when he felt calm. 

The question about sleeping was brought up before the move even happened. Logan had to order a larger bed, so Virgil would be able to sleep with him. Despite the awkwardness the first few nights, they got more and more comfortable as time went on. It didn’t take long for the two of them to cuddle up together. Usually with Logan reading one of the many books he borrowed out loud, or with a movie playing on the computer. 

Logan had once again decided to go to the library. This time, however, Virgil had asked to join him, wanting to look up a few books to read themself. It was clear that Virgil’s time at the library was much shorter than Logan’s time. After an hour, Virgil decided to head out in the city for a while, browsing different shops while Logan scanned the library shelves once again. 

Another two hours later, Logan decided he was finished for the day. Virgil had texted him to call if he wanted a ride back home, having retreated back to their apartment. It was a good day outside, the sun was out and was warming up the earth. A few flowers had begun to sprout, slowly rising towards the sky. 

He stopped for a while, just enjoying the sun on his face. This, however, was the exact moment someone decided to interrupt him. 

“Hello!”. A voice said, and Logan turned to look at them.

He was just about to answer with a ‘Salutations!’ himself, before being interrupted by a boop on the nose, of all things. A bit startled by the sudden action, Logan started up at the man before him, who was grinning brightly. 

Roman's childhood was mostly a blur to him. He remembers small parts of it, and he knew what had happened to his birth parents. Most of it consisted of him in and out of different offices with people who said they wanted to help him. He was taken to the hospital several times, but it always came up fruitless. 

When he was five years old, his house had lit on fire. The firefighters had managed to save him from the flames, but his parents hadn't made it. He had watched with terrified eyes as the house came tumbling down. Later on, during investigations, it was proved to have been a left out candle that had started it all.

Roman was put in an orphanage, and was quickly adopted by two men who couldn't get a child on their own. His soulmarks had never been a problem for them, they saw him as a lovable child who had so much love to give that the universe decided on giving him several soulmates. He had both his palms covered except for most of the ends of the fingers, his left pointer finger had a dot on it and a mark on his shoulder.

Roman grew up happily, a few therapist sessions here and there, as well as late night walks to make sure no fire was in sight or on. He knew that he wanted to be a firefighter when he grew up, he wanted to help people as they had done for him. He wanted to save lives if there was a possibility, and he would do his best to make that possibility true.

The man was tall, probably a bit shorter than Virgil. What he didn’t have i height however, he got in strength. By just looking at him, he was probably regularly working out and eating healthy. His black hair was stylishly combed, and Logan thought he could see a hint of glitter in it. He was wearing a tank top under a red jacket and blue jeans, his converse glittering in the sun. 

“Ohh! It’s you!”. The man exclaimed, diving in for a hug. Logan barely had time to process, but he hugged the other back. 

After being let go, the man held out his hand, although a bit awkwardly. 

“I’m Roman! Probably should have started with that…”. 

Logan took the offered hand, smiling up at the other. “Salutations Roman. My name is Logan. No worries, I understand your reaction.”. Which only resulted in yet another hug from his soulmate. 

The two of them talked a bit as they walked. Roman was a very animated person, always talking loudly and swinging his arms around as he did. His voice was nice to listen to, having both a calm and interesting tone to it. Logan could see how he wanted more contact, but because of Logan’s need to steer the wheelchair, it had to wait for a moment. 

Logan opened up the door, faintly hearing Virgil in the kitchen, humming to some song. He entered the door first, before Roman followed him inside, closing the door after himself. He was kind enough to take his shoes and jacket off. 

Logan headed to the kitchen, smiling as Virgil was swaying to the music that could only be heard by themself. Logan knocked on the counter, catching Virgil’s attention. Virgil looked back, at bit surprised to see someone other than Logan. 

“Sup?”. Was all that left his mouth, the question being directed mostly to Roman. 

Before Logan could say anything else, Roman had connected the dots, happily jumping up to Virgil. Neither had time to react as Roman reached for Virgil and lifted them up in the air by their hips, spinning them around. 

When Roman had put them back down, both of them stared at each other. Virgil looked as if they were having a mental breakdown, and Roman must have realised that as well. He went to step away, but before he could get far, Virgil hugged him tightly. 

They were crying, something Logan could see from where Virgil was resting their head on Roman’s shoulder. Logan knowing what Virgil had been afraid of, rolled over to place a comforting hand on their back. 

After Virgil had calmed down, the three of them parted. Virgil looked a bit sheepish, but smiled at the two of them. 

“I’m just so happy it wasn’t what I thought.”. Was all Virgil said, only earning them yet another hug from Roman and Logan himself. 

They talked for a long time, Logan and Virgil inviting Roman over for lunch. He was quick to accept, nothing that surprised them when he picked Virgil up again and spun around with Logan in the wheelchair.


	4. The hand that fit with mine

Logan should have known he would meet his third and final soulmate at the library, he had meet his first two there, so it only made sense. Roman and Virgil had joined him, before heading out to shop for dinner. Logan stayed behind a while, collecting all the books that caught his eye. 

There was a new librarian who had begun this week. A bubbly man that seemed way to loud to work in such a quiet working space. His brown hair was almost always braided with a bunch of flowers mixed up in them. He always wore something blue, usually a polo shirt as Logan, but the man always threw on a hoodie or cardigan over his shoulders. Fix that up with a bunch of bracelets and big, round glasses, you got yourself a child librarian. 

Patton, as he had introduced himself to the many children that passed by, was always smiling and joking with whoever entered the library. Logan often saw him reading books for the younger children, and if any of them were feeling sad, he seemed to know exactly how to cheer them up. 

Logan hadn’t really interacted with the man himself, but had often seen him run by, playing tag with a bunch of children, or helping young teenagers pick out a good book. They usually never bothered Logan, despite some of them being rather loud every now and then. He had always loved children, never being rude about his handicap, just curious and awfully kind about the matter. 

This day, however, it seemed like he wouldn’t get much alone time as he had hoped, not that he minded. A few young children, perhaps between the age four and seven, and consisting of three, walked up to him. Behind them was Patton, a big smile on his face as he encouraged the children to walk forward. They were each holding a piece of paper, and upon closer inspection, Logan could see a wheelchair painted on them. 

“We painted you.”. One of the children, a girl with long orange hair, said. The other two held out their pictures as well. 

Logan accepted them, looking them over with a big smile. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”. 

Seeming pleased with themself, they ran back to the drawing table, leaving Logan and Patton alone. Patton was staring behind himself, smiling as he watched the children furiously scribbling on a new piece of paper. 

“Thank you for being so kind to them. They are a bit shy, but very kind.”. Patton said, looking back at Logan with a smile that could rival the sun. “I’m Patton by the way, don’t think I had the time to introduced myself before.”.

Logan accepted Patton’s outstretched hand, shaking it as he introduced himself, only to freeze as color exploded on his palm. Patton grinned even wider, jumpin a bit at the spot before hugging him close. 

Patton didn't exactly feel like he was born in the wrong body. He just liked clothes that would normally be considered feminine. He loved skirts especially much, the way they flowed and looked, the softness of it on his skin.

His parents had never really been accepting of that fact, always telling him to man up and such things. He got beaten up a lot for experimenting with clothes and makeup. The only time they were okay with him using makeup was when he covered up a bruise they had given him. They didn't want anyone to know they abused their child.

As soon as Patton was able to move out, he did. He searched for apartments all over the city, and even further away if he could. He found one a couple of miles away, a person who needed help to pay rent.

The person went by it/it's, it was kind and a bit shy if Patton could guess. As soon as it saw Patton with a dress on, it immediately cheered up. It asked if Patton wanted to learn makeup and get styling tips, Patton happily agreed.

Another thing that Patton heard a lot about, was his soulmate marks. By the look of them all, it couldn't be one single person. He thought that it might be two if not more. Both of his palms were black and he had a spot on his shoulder. He just hoped he wouldn't miss the shoulder soulmate, it was easy to do with such a mark.

“It’s so nice to finally meet one of you!”. Patton giggled, looking at Logan with the brightest smile he had seen. 

“Likewise, I’m glad to finally meet you.”. Logan said smiling, before motioning to a table nearby where all the children were playing. “Would you like to sit down a talk a bit?”. 

Logan had agreed to meet up with Virgil and Roman up at the library when they were done shopping and he, himself, was finished. He decided to let it be a surprise for the two of them. 

He and Patton sat down at a table. Most of the children seemed to be interested in the two adults, but they were mostly left alone. A few of them came over to hand Logan a few more pictures, this time portraying Patton as well. 

It wasn’t long until Virgil and Roman showed up, carrying a few bags with them. Roman being the extrovert he was, happily walked up to the two of them, planting a hand on Logan’s shoulder, and bumping Patton’s shoulder as a greeting. He had done that ever since he knew it was the last mark remaining. 

Both of them were quick to hug each other as they felt their marks explode in colors. Patton was facing Virgil, smiling brighter when he understood they were also his soulmate. Looking at both Logan and Roman, he didn’t need more than a nod before tackling Virgil with a hug. 

After the hugging party was over, they invited Patton over for dinner the same day. He had a few hours left before he finished his shift, a plus for Logan who decided on waiting for him in the library. Logan spent the remaining time browsing more of the books, as well as reading a bit of the ones he would borrow. 

They spent the night together talking about everything and nothing, sharing stories and hobbies as the night turned to morning. It was tight with all four of them in the bed, but neither of them would have it any other way.


	5. The end

After the four of them had found each other, they had to get a bigger apartment. It was a bit hard finding one with wheelchair accessibilities, but they managed. Logan was just happy that the library was still a walking distance from where they moved into. 

It was a Friday night, Roman had been working the late shift but had finally returned. He was holding a bunch of letters in one hand, walking up to each of them to hand over the mail as well as giving them a kiss hello. 

Logan accepted the letter, almost feeling his heart freeze when he noticed which letter it was. He was unaware of the others eyes looking hopefully at him. He had to stop himself from tearing the letter open, which he sort of managed. Folding it open, he smiled brighter than he had ever done. He would be able to study to become a doctor, just as he had had dreamed of. 

It was not the story Logan had planned for, but he wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story sucks
> 
> Life is kicking my butt, and I don't really know what I'm doing anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if anything looks wrong!
> 
> Stay safe everyone and remember to be careful ♡


End file.
